A day in the life of my Pakistani mother

Wake up! Your brother needs his breakfast before he goes to work. Only 3 slices of bread left? You’ll manage without it. Your brothers a man and he needs to be fed. You don’t really need it anyway.
Hurry! Get ready for school. Why are you so slow? You’re going to be late. No makeup, it’s not a fashion show. Quick, before you miss the bus.
Right, now you’re back from school you can help with the chores. Clean the house, hoover the rugs and sweep the floors, the house should be comfortable for my son. He needs to feel happy, content and relaxed when he comes home. He’s been working all day. He’s such a hardworking son.
There’s a knock on the door that must be him. Don’t leave him waiting, be quick!
Oh, my beta, come here and sit. You, go make him some tea, bring the biscuits the nice ones with chocolate. Only the best will do for my son.
Now my dear son, go and take a shower, your clothes are waiting for you on your bed.
And you, set the table and start dinner, my son must be hungry.
Chop the onions and stir the spices. Make the rice and serve it hot.
He’s waiting, speed up! First, I’ll serve my son his food, only the best and biggest portion will do! The woman can wait and eat whatever’s left, we need to put the men first.
Right! Clear the tables and wash the dishes. But, you my son, feet up and watch what you wish, here’s a remote and a cushion for your back, sit back and relax.
Finished? Now do your homework, I’m surprised you haven’t done it already. What have you been doing all evening? When it’s done make a lunch box for your brother, if there’s any left leave it in the fridge for your dear mother.
Right, off to bed it’s school tomorrow. Wait. Come here. My son needs a snack, make him something gilling and fast. Tired? You can’t be tired! You haven’t been at work all day, respect your brother and do as I say. Do it for your brother so you can do it for your husband, hurry you’ll complain your tired in the morning. Goodnight!

Painting: Artist Unknown This was seen to be the woman’s/young girls role within the household. In many countries it still is.

This seemed like a daily occurrence in my house. Some may be thinking, its ok you’re from a Pakistani household. Yes I am, but I’m also in the U.K, but that shouldn’t make a difference, equality should be present all around the world. Always putting my brother first in every aspect of my life. Why do mothers and certain cultures think its acceptable to treat their sons in particular like kings? And treat their daughters like second class citizens. I know my example may be on the extreme side, but I’m not the only one.

Equality isn’t about burning bras and hating men. Its about things being EQUAL. Whether its teaching both sons and daughters to cook and clean. If we expect are daughters to learn so they can do it in their marital home, then why can’t sons be taught so they can help their future wives? It’s  about loving and treating both genders equally. It’s being kind and generous to all.
Even as I grew up I would hear my mum, her friends and my aunties complain of how unfair it is that they stay at home to cook and clean. They felt unappreciated. But, as I got older it became even more confusing, the same women that would complain about their rights and responsibilities were treating their sons more favourably. Ok, compared to them my mums beliefs were again on the extreme side. But still, even the other girls should have been treated better. Just like their brothers. Why were boys given more ‘pocket money?’ Why could they stay out later? Why could they come and go as they pleased? I know if I ever said anything, I was simply ‘jealous’.
When is this cycle going to be broken? Us women need to make the change for ourselves and for future women. It’s not about taking rights away from men, its about making sure both men and women have the same rights.